Saturday, February 28, 2009


Self-doubt


Having this sudden bout of self-doubt. Possibly triggered by totally mis-timing the murmur today and doing all the demoralising MCQs. And complicated by the lack of confidence of completing the run on Sunday..

It is not just the usual anxiety and stress of exams.. This time, there is a certain component of fear. A very deep-seated fear. A fear of thinking that I am prepared and yet fumbling at the exam itself. AGAIN. Maybe also because this time there is much more at stake - my entire electives, the expectations of my tutors and my frens, my confidence in future tests.. there is little to gain if I pass, yet so much to lose if I fail..

This is a burden that I will have to bear myself.. a phobia that I will need to overcome b4 getting on with my training.. I am grateful for all the help that has been rendered to me - my tutors for taking time and effort to teach me, especially Dr Tay for giving me extra tutorials even though he is not my assigned tutor, and my friends who help me collect cases for me to practice..

I hope I will not let you all down.

posted by nwxiang at 12:33 AM |


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