Sunday, October 21, 2007


Deja Vu


You know, I really enjoyed my medicine posting. In fact I think it was the best posting so far and I dun think anything else in the future can come near it. It's just such a pity that it had to end on a bad note. I tried hard and really wanted to perform decently and you know, it really sucks when you get destroyed at something you think you are good at. I was too confident, too arrogant, and now, I am humbled.

This really feels the same as about 3 years ago, after JC1 promos, when I screwed up at something I enjoyed and something I am good at. And people's expectations of you just make it worse. They just brush you off and think you are exaggerating when you said you did badly. And having to narrate and explain everything again and again just digs your wound deeper and deeper.

I am really sorry to my friends, who had to endure my black face for the whole of yesterday, especially Ryan. Sorry if I was rude to anyone. And a sincere thanks to everyone who bothered to try and cheer me up, sending me smses and giving me pats on the shoulder. I just wish that cheering up is a voluntary action..

This morning, I woke up and I felt totally shitty. After being spared for 8hrs, your mind just gets crushed by all the emotions and fatigue at the moment you regain consciousness. Thanks alot to Ivy and Wenxiang for making my weekend abit less shitty.. My morale is still at an all time low, but it will soon rebound.. how soon I do not know.. but when it does, watch and see.. for now, I will just try and survive the onslaught of the coming week..

posted by nwxiang at 11:32 PM |


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